Software as Magic?

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C. Clarke.

Any sufficiently large, poorly designed and maintained code base is indistinguishable from magic:
* You have to invest years pouring over tomes of arcane and confusing text.
* You must spend hours performing the same action with slight variation until you get the desired result.
* You should expect to be frazzled, burned or turned into an ass every once in a while.
* You'll need to consult with lore masters in a suppliant manner and be confused by their answers.
* It may help to sacrifice a small, furry woodland creature.
-- Me

The Grandfather Paradox / T2

I was listening to the latest episode of The Darker Projects podcast of Doctor Who. They brought up the Grandfather Paradox. From Wikipedia

Suppose a man traveled back in time and killed his biological grandfather before the latter met the traveler's grandmother. As a result, one of the traveler's parents (and by extension, the traveler himself) would never have been conceived. This would imply that he could not have traveled back in time after all, which in turn implies the grandfather would still be alive, and the traveler would have been conceived, allowing him to travel back in time and kill his grandfather. Thus each possibility seems to imply its own negation, a type of logical paradox.

This made me think of the end of Terminator 2. In T2, Skynet was derived from the remains of the cyborg from the first movie. These parts, plus the second terminator, were destroyed at the end of the climax. The movie ends with a voice over Linda Hamilton talking about the coming conflict. But if the Conner family had prevented Skynet from being created, then Sarah should be driving her Vespa around L.A. and waiting tables at a dinner. And John never would have been born.

But obviously, they managed to come up with some excuse for Skynet still being made, since they needed an excuse to make a third movie.

Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky god - Yahoo! News

Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky god - Yahoo! News

KATHMANDU (Reuters) - Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.

Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem.

The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal's only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, an official said.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," said Raju K.C., a senior airline official, without explaining what the problem had been.

It is common in Nepal to sacrifice animals like goats and buffaloes to appease different Hindu deities.

I don't know what's scarier. The fact that they believe that Akash Bhairab was preventing the plane from flying or that they were willing to fly in it after it magically started working again.

You know, maybe this Western Christian God is just a light-weight. I mean, air and space flight have greately reduced the mystical nature of Heaven. A truly clever higher-power would have tweaked the laws of physics so that heavier than air flight was not possible. At least this Hindu sky god has the balls to fuck with his own people everyone in a while.

Castro Endorses a Clinton-Obama Ticket?

Sign #27 of the pending apocalypse:
The sheeple of the United States elect a presidential ticket endorsed by a Communist dictator.

There is no real endorsement of the Clinton or Obama. It's more of a reference to conventional wisdom regarding that ticket. But who else but Castro could begin a story with this sentence:

One day, Che [Guevara] and I went to play golf. He had been a caddie once to earn some money in his spare time; I, on the other hand, knew absolutely nothing about this expensive sport.


What he does suggest that Gore is a true communist:

The media declares that this [a democratic government in Cuba] would be essential, unless Gore decides to run. I don’t think he will do so; better than anyone, he knows about the kind of catastrophe that awaits humanity if it continues along its current course. When he was a candidate, he of course committed the error of yearning for “a democratic Cuba”.

At best this could be interpreted that Gore's green policies put him at odds with capitalism. And since capitalism is a side affect of individual freedoms, Castro sees Gore as a fellow communist.

A treatment for the Dark Tower Series

I think that since Warner Brothers has struck gold on the 7-part Harry Potter series, and the Lord of the Rings was such a phenomenal success, we could probably expect to see the full seven parts of the Dark Tower. I'd love to see all of them made verbatim, but I don't know that it's practical. If I had to change things, this is probably how I'd do it.

The first book was extremely short, even the extensions added in the revised version didn't do that much to add to the story. I suppose you could pad it out to introduce even more world building material. I'd probably slip the Mejis story from Wizard and Glass into the middle, have Roland telling that story to Jake instead of the story of how Roland gunned down everyone in that little dried-up town. You might have to thin it out a little, but it could be done. You'd have to play down the politics, maybe even eliminate Rhea and Merlin's Grapefruit.

I think The Drawing of the Three would be perfect just the way it is.

Then I'd take all of the Wastelands and the riddling competition and Wizard of Oz sections of Wizard and Glass squish it into one movie and call it "The Wastelands". The first half of the Wastelands is mostly world building and is were King really hit his stride on how Mid-world worked. But that might not transfer so well for a movie. I'm not sure how hot of an ending the Blaine section would be. That's why I think you'd need the confrontation with Flagg in the Emerald City to get you back on the track of the tower.

Wolves of the Callas could probably stand on it's own, what with the whole Seven Samari story and Callahan's back story.

But the last two books would be like pulling teeth. I loved all these books, but the shine really started come off the diamond with the Song of Suzanna. I know King was aiming for the Arthurian legend mixed with his own odd sense of the occult, but crikey it made for a slow story at times. I honestly don't recall most of that book. I don't know how I'd handle SoS as a movie.

And finally, the Dark Tower. All of the world hopping in this book and SoS might make it confusing to the non-readers. Ditto all of the interweaving of Mid-world and our world. Obviously, you need King to play himself in the movies, but I might make just one trip to Maine instead of two. The battle in the Dixie Pig is a must though. Father Callahan was most righteous in that fight, pardon the pun.

I think the conclusion of the book / series was genius. Couldn't have happened any other way. And, like Sean said, that will really screw with people's heads. But I was never happy with the defeat of Red King. I hated it. Totally Deus Ex Machina. And you couldn't end a seven part movie arc that way. Not enough action.

I don't want a big, handful of good verses an army of darkness, everyone dies kind of conclusion, like the end of the Harry Potter books. Something more like the Matrix series, big one-on-one battle then reset the system. Roland stands alone against a single opponent.

I think you'd have to have a confrontation between Roland and Flagg on the stair of the tower, in top room or on the parapets. This would be a bit of a divergence, since Flagg was killed by Mordred, but I'm sure worse sins will be committed against this story.

But how cool would it be to have Roland step over Flagg's body, enter the top room of the tower and then be instantly back at the beginning of the story, chasing him again.

More thoughts on casting the Dark Tower

Sean had made a few suggestions about casting for the pending Dark Tower movie.

He'd suggest Sam Elliot as the gunslinger. Elliot definitely has that western feel down, but I think he's a bit old as well. Roland is no spring chicken, in fact he seems to age quite quickly over the course of the last few books. But the man just turned 63 a few weeks ago.

I could buy into Sean's suggestion of Steve Buscemi. He's got the street edge. And the sense of humor. However, I don't know that I've seen Buscemi enough movies that weren't ultra-violent to dig him for Eddie's sensitive side. And looking at the recent pictures of him on IMDB, I'm more inclined to add him to the list for the Walter/Flagg/Martin candidates.

I think I might give Bruce Campbell
reading for Eddie. Partly because I'm a big a fan. Also, I could SO see him nailing the confrontation with Blaine the Mono. Plus he's done his share of niche, action and western material.

Sean had also thrown Peter Fonda or David Bowie as Flagg. Maybe. I've never drank the cool-aid of David Bowie, so I'm going to have to pass on him. I can see him getting a good bite on the creepy factor. However, I was checking out the pictures of Fonda in Ghost Rider and was impressed by how good he looked. I might consider him for the part of Roland.

Fonda's make up in GR made me think of Lance Henriksen, another journeyman actor with a lot of odd action movies under his belt. He might make a good Roland, Callahan or Flagg.

My problem is that I really don't watch a lot of movies, which is partly my Howard Roark shining through. For example, I love the Ghost Rider comic, but I couldn't bring myself to watch it because I was not impressed with the artistic decisions. That bike looked nasty and the skull and flames looked to CGd for me. I'd rather not see it.

Hopefully the end result of the Dark Tower movies will be more like the LotR than what has happened with the Spiderman movies. I'd even be happy a nice Harry Potter-esque compromise.

Stephen King confirms The Dark Tower Movie

Gotta channel the anti-anti-guy for this one.

Stephen King has apparently opted the rights for The Dark Tower to be produced J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof. Apparently, they are serious fans, having slip multiple references to King's works into Lost.

Of course, I've enjoyed most of King's books and loved the Dark Tower series. I also really enjoyed the Marvel comics adaption of Wizard and Glass into Gunslinger Born. The comic had great art and was a decent interpretation of the story.

I think casting could be a challenge.

The main character Roland was based heavily on Clint Eastwood in the Sergio Leone movies. Unfortunately, he's getting a little old in the tooth. No one comes to mind, but the guy would have to be tall and lanky like Eastwood. Maybe slip Eastwood in as Father Callahan, as a nod of the head. I think he would be great in that role.

When I first saw the twins on Disney's The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, I immediately thought of Jake Chambers. I don't know how you'd pick just one of them though.

I'm thinking someone that is an established crazy man for Flagg/Walter/Martin. Someone like Ed Norton or Gary Oldman.

Eddie.... Eddie's tough. In more way than one. He has emotional toughness and depth, plus street/criminal/druggie element. And he's a funny bastard with a twisted sense of humor. Eddies the one I've always associated with the most. First man into my mind was John Cusack. But I think he's getting a little old for the role. Shrug.

As far as Susannah Dean goes, I'm thinking someone unknown. I think an actress with a lot of work under her belt would ruin that character. It's so dynamic, over the length of the series, I think an actress that is a blank slate would be much better. No expectations.